I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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