Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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