I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
