Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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