Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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