she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
