me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
