Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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