i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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