I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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