I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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