I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize