so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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