so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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