my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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