He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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