my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
