Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sorry about my life...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
