sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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