I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize