If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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