I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize