I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
