What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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