The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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