my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
