I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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