is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
