I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
farters have to be the big spoon...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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