i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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