i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
