Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
