Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
