I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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