we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
two words...techno handjob
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
