normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
this just has baby written all over it
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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