she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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