Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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