My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
