soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
