I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
