a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
