Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
