Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
this just has baby written all over it
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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