is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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