in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
