Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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