Plan B is the new Plan A
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
