Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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