forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
