Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize