Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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