just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize