Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just had sex on a roof
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
