I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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