he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
