Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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