Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
