i was born a porn star she said
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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