and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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