dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
