After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
